tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2137154369266940806.post5389524718604321573..comments2023-03-22T07:58:01.600-07:00Comments on Marta's blogroll: Two Faces of Shame...Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02172214186654295397noreply@blogger.comBlogger41125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2137154369266940806.post-47993841667959158992013-08-10T17:58:34.401-07:002013-08-10T17:58:34.401-07:00I'd like to thank talented Taylor Fulks for al...I'd like to thank talented Taylor Fulks for allowing me to publish her article, as well as all of you who have commented with such commitment and wisdom.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15249891006083336192noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2137154369266940806.post-68686498433555080912013-08-07T11:06:26.340-07:002013-08-07T11:06:26.340-07:00Tim...
Thank you for reading Marta's intervie...Tim...<br /><br />Thank you for reading Marta's interview. She extended me great latitude in posting and commenting. For that and many other things, I am so grateful.<br /><br />I love the statement, "the book is raw." That it is my friend. I've read a few others of the same genre since publishing mine and I find much left to the imagination. Maybe that's a good thing...maybe not. I didn't write graphically for shock value. Actually, if the truth be known, I wrote it in a rage as an "I'll show you the crime, then talk to me about punishment." Probably not the best place to write from, but the words wouldn't stop.<br /><br />If I can make people feel for just a little while, the desolate darkness children exist in...if I can make people see the hopelessness we have while surviving our own private and secretive hell, with no hope of rescue...If I can do that with my words, maybe some child will be rescued before they are ruined for life.<br />That's my hope, anyway.<br /><br />Thank you again for your comment and insights.<br /><br />All the best to you...<br /><br />~Taylor Taylor Fulks https://www.blogger.com/profile/15413307741015624215noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2137154369266940806.post-63513484987252801412013-08-07T10:36:54.735-07:002013-08-07T10:36:54.735-07:00I'm posting for Tim DeLaMatter, with his permi...I'm posting for Tim DeLaMatter, with his permission. This is a LinkedIn message he sent me:<br /><br />Hello Marta<br />I read the two faces of shame you have on your blog and have to say wow, I am so thankful that I read it. Child Sexual abuse is something we as a society do not hear enough about. We need people to realize that the people being created with a lack of morality is only going to get higher.<br /><br />The book is raw but I think needful to hear because maybe people will see how bad this is. Thanks again for posting it.<br /><br />This problem is all over the World, in Taiwan when I was there with a Mission organization the amount of little girls being abused by older brothers, uncles, fathers, and even friends of the family was a sad commentary of the society there. I went away with a deep realization that sexual abuse of minors is horrific because it never goes away until the person can release it. <br /><br />Thanks again<br />TimAnonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15249891006083336192noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2137154369266940806.post-10015972682439360792013-08-05T17:18:11.803-07:002013-08-05T17:18:11.803-07:00Scott...
I firmly believe that none of us meet by...Scott...<br /><br />I firmly believe that none of us meet by accident, we are meant to cross each others paths for a reason. My original motivation for writing this was "I'll show you!" But hundreds of emails, messages and letters later, I am of a mind to think I might be getting through. Hope springs eternal...<br /><br />Now, as for Marta...she has been a persistent, unfailing force in my life and my subsequent journey with this book. You're a wise man to take heed and listen...heehee!<br /><br />Thank you for taking the time and effort to leave such a lovely comment and insights. I shall venture over and read your poem.<br /><br />All the best to you Scott...<br /><br />~Taylor<br /> Taylor Fulks https://www.blogger.com/profile/15413307741015624215noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2137154369266940806.post-6388492811952664662013-08-05T16:45:28.816-07:002013-08-05T16:45:28.816-07:00Cynthia...
Thank you sweet sister for your lovely...Cynthia...<br /><br />Thank you sweet sister for your lovely comment. Words are powerful. They can do great harm or touch someone so deeply they are changed forever. My hope is that my words will do the latter...<br /><br />Thank you for reading my heart...<br /><br />~TaylorTaylor Fulks https://www.blogger.com/profile/15413307741015624215noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2137154369266940806.post-26534386297068796082013-08-05T11:37:15.919-07:002013-08-05T11:37:15.919-07:00Well Taylor, it was my creative kinship and friend...Well Taylor, it was my creative kinship and friendship with the wonderfully committed Marta that got me here today... And I immediately have to say how much I admire and was touched by your bravery and determination to shine light into the darkeness, not just as an act of self healing - but also as a compassionate and deeply generous gift to help others.... As well as a statement of will that says this abuse must be confronted, exposed and stopped, wherever possible. A process which thankfully beginning to gain momentum too here in England. And how curious and wonderful too that the new poem I was corressponding with Marta about also focuses on how to personally resource confronting darkness, damage and despair. It was all meant to be, for sure... All power to you Taylor - With Best Wishes Scott - my poem is called 'such things' http://www.scotthastie.com/?p=2254scotthastiepoethttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17266153714529613752noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2137154369266940806.post-50647962565722163522013-08-05T07:08:47.531-07:002013-08-05T07:08:47.531-07:00You paint with words a tapestry of pain and anguis...You paint with words a tapestry of pain and anguish, and yet show their is survival to those in the same plight. Your voice is clear and positive. A great and enlightening read, Taylor.Cynthia B Ainsworthehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00281968234636190232noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2137154369266940806.post-85604744161387397142013-08-04T22:24:41.969-07:002013-08-04T22:24:41.969-07:00Brian...
My...You brought me to tears. What a bea...Brian...<br /><br />My...You brought me to tears. What a beautiful and eloquent statement. You have touched me profoundly with your words and insight. I truly do not want to take away from what you have said by responding. You honor me! Thank you seems so insufficient, but it's all I have. Thank you from my soul. I cherish your words...<br /><br />~TaylorTaylor Fulks https://www.blogger.com/profile/15413307741015624215noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2137154369266940806.post-34324762508739709212013-08-04T13:05:51.863-07:002013-08-04T13:05:51.863-07:00Like everyone else has mentioned--what a courageou...Like everyone else has mentioned--what a courageous person you are! <br /><br />Your path to writing and sharing your life story and experiences is so similar to many other artists who produce their art as a means of survival, healing, and reclamation. But to tell ‘this’ sort of story, it requires something else. It embodies the idea of an artist becoming completely bare, even becoming the source of ridicule and further shaming for sharing the authenticity of your story.<br /><br />"I’m proud to say the little girl inside my book (inside of me) is fine…I protect her now. This little girl has found her voice…"<br /><br />What a blessing it is that she has found her voice and you can hear her clearly. And what a blessing it will be for all of the other children who have suffered abuse--you allow them to find their voices. Your voice will be the sound leading so many others out of the consuming darkness and helplessness produced in the aftermath of abuse.<br /><br />Thanks for sharing this so bravely! Brava!<br />Brianhttp://www.brianbowers.conoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2137154369266940806.post-67506673229477788522013-08-02T14:32:55.826-07:002013-08-02T14:32:55.826-07:00Ana...
First, thank you for the visit and taking ...Ana...<br /><br />First, thank you for the visit and taking the time and effort to comment. <br /><br />Second, you are absolutely correct on all counts, however shame is a by-product of the encounter. No matter how much counseling one has, or self actualization one may conjure from that sane and rational place we as civilized people so deftly hang on to, shame is like a scar that has healed but leaves a shadow of the wound once there, open and bleeding. You can try to conceal it with clothing or make-up or sparkly, shiny things, but it remains there always, a constant reminder of what happened.<br /><br />As for aversion because of distastefulness...I do differ with your opinion, respectfully. <br /><br />We live in a society that relishes and by our very nature, welcomes the gory and macabre. We rush to the book store or Amazon to buy the latest bestseller, a BDSM trilogy, with NOTHING left to the imagination, that's all the rage worldwide (Good for her by the way...I mean that sincerely). Or, we rush home from work to watch TV as the number one show depicts a band of Zombies wreaking carnage and mayhem while trying to mutilate a rogue dystopian group of humans. We are titillated by the details of a serial killer or rapist, and hang on every detail as it's laid before us on Court TV.<br /><br />But let someone like me speak of the hell I survived...It becomes distasteful. It is taboo...something to keep to myself. I have lived in shame and secrecy for over four decades because society and my own lack of self esteem deemed it appropriate. The lost and forgotten child that lives within me cried out, loudly. I finally listened to her. This is her story...<br /><br />Thank you again for your lovely comment and for visiting. I am honored.<br /><br />All the best to you,<br /><br />~Taylor Taylor Fulks https://www.blogger.com/profile/15413307741015624215noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2137154369266940806.post-14423964733080817582013-08-02T08:24:49.612-07:002013-08-02T08:24:49.612-07:00Hi Taylor,
You're really a courageous woman! ...Hi Taylor,<br /><br />You're really a courageous woman! To be ashamed is a natural feeling for the victim. Perpetrators usually have no conscience. In their point of view, they are not responsible for the crime they've committed but they are because they know the difference between good and evil. The only thing is that they obviate the evil of the crime and they justify it because of the need of it. Anyway, they are guilty, they really know what they do. And they do know that what they do is a crime.<br />Sure, we're living in a global society and everybody has learnt about Child Sexual Abuse, but through newsflash. To tell in detail this kind of crime may produce sensations that a lot of people are incapable of confronting. I think that that is the reason for some aversion. My opinion is that we should know although the reality hurts. We must know how evil works in order to annihilate it from the human being.<br />Thanks Taylor for your courage. Best wishes.Ana Rubio-Serranohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06689777708622408162noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2137154369266940806.post-29451297476743383992013-07-30T20:46:47.837-07:002013-07-30T20:46:47.837-07:00Leanne...
Thank you for the visit and the lovely ...Leanne...<br /><br />Thank you for the visit and the lovely comment. The little girl is doing better everyday.<br /><br />All the best to you...<br /><br />~TaylorTaylor Fulks https://www.blogger.com/profile/15413307741015624215noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2137154369266940806.post-22575093181131959722013-07-30T13:04:13.395-07:002013-07-30T13:04:13.395-07:00Thank you so much for having the courage to give t...Thank you so much for having the courage to give that little girl a voice. Wishing you continued success.Author Leanne Dyckhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12886667518427660865noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2137154369266940806.post-49957229671024001592013-07-29T19:15:01.111-07:002013-07-29T19:15:01.111-07:00Sharla...
My precious sister...You are a far bett...Sharla...<br /><br />My precious sister...You are a far better person than I. Thank you for all your support, both professionally and on a personal level. You have been with me in heart and spirit almost from the beginning, always there for me, never wavering, one of my first true friends. Though the miles between us are many, I couldn't feel closer if you were right next to me. Thank you for your lovely words...I love you my sister.<br /><br />~TaylorTaylor Fulks https://www.blogger.com/profile/15413307741015624215noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2137154369266940806.post-72922318056139015012013-07-29T18:37:58.358-07:002013-07-29T18:37:58.358-07:00Taylor, as you well know, not only have I read you...Taylor, as you well know, not only have I read your book but have established a close friendship with you as well. Reading your article has shed even further light on your life and reasons for writing your story. . .not to be simply written down as one would in a diary or journal but put to print for all the world to bear witness. It is a message of hope in times of the bitterest despair, a will to survive beyond all odds. Congratulations on your success with your first book! Looking forward to more to come! Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01592703953660880527noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2137154369266940806.post-85159702470188026942013-07-29T16:38:49.678-07:002013-07-29T16:38:49.678-07:00No worries Pim...
I've been known to push a &...No worries Pim...<br /><br />I've been known to push a "wrong button" or two in my life as well...<br /><br />~TaylorTaylor Fulks https://www.blogger.com/profile/15413307741015624215noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2137154369266940806.post-58368438515181997562013-07-29T16:37:30.597-07:002013-07-29T16:37:30.597-07:00Thank you lovey...
Pride in the mistakes and deci...Thank you lovey...<br /><br />Pride in the mistakes and decisions I've made? No. Pride in the book I have written? Yes love...I feel I've had to lay myself bare, flaws and all to give those younger, smaller, and weaker than I a face and a voice. I hope I have done that.<br /><br />As for writing....YES!! I am currently working on my next novel, SINS OF MY FATHER, a novel also based on a true story, but totally different than MPWB. It is a Mystery/Romance and a true labor of love. I've had the story in my head for about five years and it's cooked and ready to be served...heehee!<br />I hope to have it out in the spring of 2014. I'm a perfectionist by nature, so we'll see.<br /><br />Thank you for the visit and the comment.<br /><br />~TaylorTaylor Fulks https://www.blogger.com/profile/15413307741015624215noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2137154369266940806.post-7141861168527988782013-07-29T16:30:40.798-07:002013-07-29T16:30:40.798-07:00Shari...
Oh thank you sweet friend! You touch my ...Shari...<br /><br />Oh thank you sweet friend! You touch my heart!<br /><br />I cannot and will not apologize for the way I wrote it...but I will say that my intent was never to shock or hurt anyone with my writing. For you to say it helps others, that makes all the angst and negative worthwhile.<br /><br />Thank you for the visit and your lovely insights...you truly honor me.<br /><br />~TaylorTaylor Fulks https://www.blogger.com/profile/15413307741015624215noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2137154369266940806.post-69319080998315523252013-07-29T14:15:39.033-07:002013-07-29T14:15:39.033-07:00PS my name is Pim, I pushed a wrong button...PS my name is Pim, I pushed a wrong button...Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15319302282281768240noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2137154369266940806.post-60569691751593289922013-07-29T14:10:13.745-07:002013-07-29T14:10:13.745-07:00By admitting Shame you gave yourself reason for Pr...By admitting Shame you gave yourself reason for Pride, Taylor. And I hear your next book is underway. Congratulations!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2137154369266940806.post-7388298036909328152013-07-29T14:07:53.588-07:002013-07-29T14:07:53.588-07:00Dear Taylor, I read about "My Prison Without ...Dear Taylor, I read about "My Prison Without Bars" and I applaud your courage to come forth with this story to strengthen in spirit and overcome this tragedy in order to go on in life, for you are a shero! You help other victims by reaching out to them and telling them that sublimating their wounds without seeking help will only exacerbate their pain; and your story informs the public that crimes of abuse cannot and will not go unpunished if only victims will speak out and seek help. We hear you!Shari LeKanehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05764921433989389867noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2137154369266940806.post-87018839199162625102013-07-29T12:48:36.049-07:002013-07-29T12:48:36.049-07:00PJ...
Thank you for the visit and the lovely comm...PJ...<br /><br />Thank you for the visit and the lovely comment. Unfortunately, I'm afraid the problem will remain with us...it dates back to Biblical times. Hopefully we can come to some comfort level in our society that enables us to speak up about the issue, teach children to TELL, teach teachers to recognize the signs, and maybe someday, be able to halt the abuse before it ruins another child. That is my hope anyway...<br /><br />~Taylor Taylor Fulks https://www.blogger.com/profile/15413307741015624215noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2137154369266940806.post-50069462343160726492013-07-29T12:37:29.082-07:002013-07-29T12:37:29.082-07:00Pat...
Sweet sister of my soul...and that is just...Pat...<br /><br />Sweet sister of my soul...and that is just what we are...we Warriors. Because it takes a warrior to rise up from the ashes of darkness and despair, dust off, swallow our shame and face the world ahead of us, all the while shackled by shame and secrecy.<br />You force me to have to tell this...I'm fifty-one! I was forty-nine as well, when I started this journey. I spent four decades living a lie, living in shame and secrecy and making sure everyone around me was happy. I can't tell you for certain what made me do this...a little voice in the back of my head, or despair over the life I had ahead of me at the time. I'll probably never know.<br />Your son (God Bless him) is where I was at age thirty-eight. I was an open wound, bleeding and festering. My mother knew...she knew what was happening to me and did nothing to stop it or prevent it. She divorced my abuser after six years of abusing me, then allowed him to come back for three more years after the divorce, for conjugal visits...with me! It wasn't till I was reading my MS for my first editorial submission, that I read what I wrote about that situation and it finally sank in!<br />That was a game-changer for me on so many levels. It's also where I'm at in my head right now. Don't get me wrong...unlike you, I never forgot, blacked out or repressed my memories (maybe it wasn't a blessing I was to be afforded). I remember everything down to the sounds and smells around me back then, but...I didn't allow myself to fully engage my mind or my emotions. I didn't allow myself to feel the appropriate feelings I should have had for my mother...after all, she is still my mother!<br />That mindset has changed for me, and that is what I'm trying to resolve in my mind. We have a very strained relationship at present. She continues to deny her culpability in the matter. She will have to deal with that in her own eternity.<br />If I could make one suggestion...a bit of knowledge I've gained while on this journey...I encourage you and your son to write about the abuse each of you endured, full disclosure, in detail, right down to the smells and sounds of the room. Do it with no intention of anyone ever reading it or publishing it as I did. Write what led up to the dreadful moment(s), what happened during, and what you felt after, during and prior to that horror. Then read it out loud in the privacy of your own space...read it again...and again...and again.<br />I've learned that there is great healing in the TELLING! You remain damaged, but not ruined. In my book, I refer to a piece of furniture, a coffee table, my youngest daughter (almost 3 at the time) hammered seven nails into the top panel. I'll allay your worries...she lived...heehee!<br />I removed the nails, stripped the table of stain and varnish, sanded, filled the nail holes, sanded, stained, sanded again, stained again, and then varnished three times. No matter how hard I tried to repair it, the stain didn't cover the wood putty. The varnish didn't stick like it should. In essence, the furniture was still a beautiful table, still functional and still useful, but it remained damaged...like me. A lamp covers the holes now.<br />I'm damaged goods...but I'm not ruined. The telling has set me free and my sweet sister, it will set you and your son free as well. You will finally have perspective (some you don't even realize) and a sense of Acceptance. The past is over. You don't live there anymore. It's time to let go and live...I hope you will heed my advice. It's not a cure-all, but it's worth a shot. It may put your demons and his, to rest.<br />God bless you and your son...I pray you both find peace from your sorrow and light on you path. And by the way, I think you're pretty awesome too Pat...<br /><br />~Taylor<br /><br />Taylor Fulks https://www.blogger.com/profile/15413307741015624215noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2137154369266940806.post-5716110541331749892013-07-29T10:15:51.927-07:002013-07-29T10:15:51.927-07:00Taylor, you inspire us all with your courageous pe...Taylor, you inspire us all with your courageous perseverance, your gathered insights, and your unstinting portrayal of what tends to (as you say) remain hidden. Congratulations on the completion and admirable success of your novel!PJ Royalhttp://www.pjroyal.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2137154369266940806.post-56721735425721096982013-07-29T06:21:58.368-07:002013-07-29T06:21:58.368-07:00I am posting for Pat Yeager, who cannot enter her ...I am posting for Pat Yeager, who cannot enter her comment.<br /><br />Hello Taylor, <br />I haven't read your book yet, however I intend to. I just want to tell you, I know the immense courage it takes to tell someone you have been molested, much less, write about it. My dear, I am so glad you did not wait until you were late in your years to write your story, as I have. Unfortunately, I stuffed my experiences so deep inside my soul, and left them there until I was 49 yrs. old when my thirteen-year-old son, had a breakdown, and told his doctor he was molested as a small child, by a teenager who moved away, afterward. We searched for the boy and discovered he had died from MS. I was so heartbroken for my son, I too went through a breakdown as mine surfaced. I simply never knew the mind had such control over us. He is a victim of clinical depression by his attack, and he is 33 yrs. old. It ruined his life and he struggles daily. He will not talk about it, and I can honestly understand why. When I finally opened up about my attack, I was, quite honestly, peered at as though I had just told the biggest lie anyone in the world had ever told. I couldn't explain why I shut it out for so many years, or where it went. But when it returned, the memory came back as a monster crawling out from under my bed. I am well, now, and like you, have come to know I am a perfect child in God's eyes. Those who believed me and helped me through, and those who show me love today, are my true beloved friends, and relatives. They are all I need, and Marta is one of them.<br /><br />God Bless you Taylor, you're pretty awesome.<br />PatAnonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15249891006083336192noreply@blogger.com